Honest taglines for Nigerian fintech

From “seamless” to “super app,” here’s the honest glossary.

If you missed Friday’s Notadeepdive, catch up here.

TOGETHER WITH CREDIT DIRECT

---

Some honest taglines

Does the tech industry share a thesaurus? We’re forever “democratising,” “enabling,” and “making payments seamless.” Somewhere between the deck and the product, meaning gets obscured.

“Everyone’s using the same words, and it’s created a fog. A fog that’s bad for business, bad for relationships, and bad for innovation.” -Pam Kaur

Alex Johnson at Fintech Takes pushed back with honest taglines. I share the itch. So here’s my version.

If a line makes you laugh and then makes something click, mission accomplished.

Agency Banking - Turning the guy selling noodles on your street into a bank branch. You withdraw ₦20k from him weekly, but complain about the ₦100 fee; the alternative is to take a ₦400 keke to a bank branch to withdraw ₦10k.

Bank Verification Number – One number to rule them all, and easily one of the Central Bank’s best policies in a long time. Still not enough to stop fraud, but hey. You do what you can.

Buy Now Pay Later - Because you refuse to take a loan with 40% interest, but still want that new phone.

Card Maintenance Fee - Your monthly/quarterly contribution so that the banks pay the card schemes. Give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar (and also what doesn't).

Cashless Policy - Every few years, Nigerian policy makers travel to Europe and return to wage war with cash. Cash always wins. When will they learn?

Chargeback - Detty December is over. The big spenders are back home, hunched over laptops, firing off “I didn’t buy that” emails to their banks. Vendors are understandably upset.

Core Banking Application - An abstract backend term until your bank app stops working for three days and you remember seeing a headline: “XYZ Bank switches to Finacle.”

Crypto - Where your cousin becomes a financial advisor after one memecoin rally. Regulators still can’t decide what to do.

Debt Shaming - You swore you had a secret sauce for credit decision-making, but none of the N2 billion you loaned out has been repaid and you’re sending ancestral curses to customers. (Also: illegal).

Digital Lending - Give people money with no collateral and pray they return it. When they don’t, see: Debt Shaming.

Earned Wage Access - Because begging HR for a salary advance every month is exhausting. Now you can pay to access your own money early.

eNaira - CBN’s FOMO-induced digital currency. Used by no one. Shocking. (I wrote about the eNaira’s failure here.)

Form A/M - The gatekeepers between you and dollars. “Those are not for you”- Emefiele in 2021.

IMTO (remittances) — Diaspora money with a receipt. The legal way to “send something home.”

Know Your Customer - First to get called when fraud happens. Yes, the bank has your 12‑page account opening form; no, they don’t have your current address.

Loan to Deposit Ratio - Who wants to lend in this economy, your favorite banker asks. You still gotta lend, the Central Bank insists. LDR is the awkward compromise.

MicroFinance Bank -Sorry, Professor Muhammad Yunus, but out here, this is a shell to help our favourite fintechs get past regulators. What with the absence of digital banking licences and what not.

NIBSS - The place all the banks connect to if they want to transfer money to each other. Also, your most believable excuse when someone asks why you haven’t sent the money.

NPL Ratio - We gave out loans. We’re not getting these back.

Open Banking - You have a Bank Verification Number, Why do you always have to submit the same information to 12 different banks?

Payment Service Bank (PSB) - Built by telcos to fix mobile money after traveling to Kenya and seeing M-Pesa. Regulated into irrelevance by the same people who asked them to help.

Remittance: Send money back home because everyone fintech wants USD revenue

Risk-based Pricing - “It's not that we don’t trust you. We’re just saying that 49% interest sounds fair.”

Stamp Duty - The government’s way of asking, “Anything for the boys?” Every bit as annoying as when that happens in real life.

Super App - Wants to be your bank, market, best friend, and music player. Fails at three of the four. (Pick any three.)

USSD - Slow, clunky and largely undependable, yet gets talked up for how it “aids financial inclusion.” But we'll always have those 737 jingles.

If you’re a new subscriber or this was forwarded to you, check out the most popular Notadeepdive editions this year:

Feelin’ lucky? Try startup stock options. 🎰

Fintech player comps: Afrobeats Edition

Union Bank goes to court over ₦9.3bn fraud

Nigeria's Central Bank approves Open Banking launch for August 2025

Gokada is raising $200k to keep the engines running

Is fintech becoming a slur?

This edition was edited by two of the funniest people I know: BFG and Nnanna. Subscribe to their Substacks here and here; thank me later.

Got a fintech phrase you want translated? Hit reply. We’ll keep the glossary growing.