If it ain’t broke, compare again

Startups as Nollywood stars, because why not?

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Nollywood comps

When I compared Nigerian fintechs to Afrobeats stars last week, it hit a nerve (mostly the funny bone). Naturally, I thought: what if we tried it one more time, just before the idea overstays its welcome?

This time, we’re headed to Nollywood.

Before Afrobeats, Nollywood was an early Nigerian cultural export. You couldn’t escape Genevieve’s sighs, Nkiru Sylvanus's tears, or Jim Iyke’s righteous anger. Nollywood gave us drama and memes to fuel a thousand group chats.

So why not compare the actors who played roles in every other film of the early 2000s (and some contemporary stars) to Nigerian startups?

Anyway, just like before, this is all very unserious analysis and if you stop liking it, I’ll learn my lesson and stop doing comps.

Credit Direct - Pete Edochie

Been lending money since before BNPL became a slide on everyone’s pitch deck. No gimmicks. Just velvet slippers and proverbs about how what matters in lending is getting your money back. Like our ancestors say, “the snail that borrows its shell must return it before nightfall.”

PalmPay - Chinedu Ikedieze (Aki)

Once laughed at like a clown, now accepted as part of the culture. PalmPay is everywhere, like Aki in the early 2000s. Always up to something; it’ll jump on your back, pull your shirt over your head, and steal your lunch before you even realize.

Paga - Genevieve Nnaji

Classy and elegant. Was doing agent banking before you created that cringeworthy yahoo email address you swore was cool in 2001. You don’t always hear from Paga, but when they show up, the story is usually solid. Doesn’t need to fight for attention, just stays booked and busy.

Vendease - Desmond Elliot

Started strong and full of promise. Looked like it could change the food logistics game and Nollywood forever. Then came the pivot that changed everything for the worse. Now, that pivot seems to be under threat.

Will Vendease survive? And will the powers that be allow Demond Elliot to run for office in the next election cycle or at least have a resurgence at the movies? Stay tuned.

Risevest - Richard Mofe Damijo

Risevest is your finance-savvy uncle who quotes Warren Buffett and sends you Medium links at 6am. It’s not trying to be loud or viral; it just has good intentions and wants to manage your portfolio and remind you that having money in your old age is crucial.

Fez Logistics – Uzor Arukwe

In a last-mile logistics game defined by struggle and suffering, Fez and Uzor bring a certain je ne sais quoi. Think Odogwu, but with dispatch software. Fez moves through Lagos chaos with the poise of someone who’s done the work but would still rather not sweat. They’re about that soft life, even if it means outworking everyone to get there. Underestimate them, and they’ll still deliver, on time, and in style.

Sabi - Kanayo O. Kanayo

You’re not always sure what’s going on behind the scenes, but you know there’s money somewhere in the value chain. Sabi started as a B2B e-commerce startup, now it’s running a commodities exchange. If they show up with a goat and a calabash covered with a white cloth, just say “traceability.”

Shuttlers - Bimbo Ademoye

Shuttlers took on the most chaotic plotline in Nigeria — daily transport — and somehow turned it into a reliable workplace comedy. Just like Bimbo Ademoye, it’s surprisingly well put-together even when everything around it is falling apart. It’s not trying to save the world. It just wants you to get to the office in style while you snore because you were stupid enough to drink till 3am on a weekday.

Raenest - Osas Ighodaro

You’ll spot Raenest wherever international money moves; startup booths in Lisbon, fintech panels in Nairobi, onboarding that friend who just got a Canadian remote job. Like Osas, it has range and polish. Not necessarily the loudest on the home front, but globally poised, brand-savvy, and booked across continents. There's always a new announcement, a new market, a new collab. They’re doing the work, and you just have to respect it.

LendSqr - Genoveva Umeh

Not a household name yet, but consistently turning in solid performances that elevate the entire cast. LendSqr doesn’t hog the spotlight; it helps lenders make smarter credit decisions, quietly powering the scenes behind the big funding headlines. Like Genoveva in From Home, it’s the kind of actor that makes you think, “Wait, who’s that again?” And then you start seeing them everywhere.

Chowdeck – Timini Egbuson

Always trending. Chowdeck has that magnetism; confident enough to challenge Jumia Food, and audacious enough to win. Boyish charm, check. Main-character energy, check again. Everyone has an opinion, which means they’re doing something right.

Glovo - Jim Iyke

The accent. The confidence. The feeling that it’s not really from here, but still very much in the mix. Glovo, like Jim Iyke, entered the scene with polished swagger, foreign seasoning, and a firm belief that dominance was just a matter of screen time. It’s expensive, occasionally dramatic, but undeniably effective. And even if the newer guys are trending, Glovo’s still booking major roles.

Back to serious stuff next week. See you on Friday!